Avoid her like the Plague

The Type of Girl you need to Avoid

·         The Excessive Party Girl:

Also known as the Alcoholic, she parties at least 3 nights a week spends all her pay on booze and a new frock for the weekend.

Her stories on Monday morning at the water cooler are always the same,
“I got so drunk at the weekend, I don’t know what time I got home,
I don’t know how I got home, I don’t know who I went home with”

You know where I'm going with this. If this is what you are looking for in a partner then she’s your girl.

·         The Drama Queen:

Everyone knows one; she’s the one crying in the corner at the end of the
night cause somebody wore the same shoes as her. She’s the one that will argue and overreact with you over seemingly minor incidents. She’s self-centred always asking for little things to be done for her that she’s well able to do herself.

·         The Gold Digger

Ok. We definitely know this one. On a night out there is no holding back, she will look stunning in every way perfect hair (fresh out of the Saloon) extra skin on show to get the heads turning and gets maximum exposure to all possibilities of partners.

She will ignore you, give you the cold shoulder and fail to notice your existence. She will be infatuated with the tall, tanned, designer label
wearing dumb-ass with the big wallet. She’s not into conversation, intelligence or how much fun you are, just as long as you can feed her habit.

·         The Latcher

This one is some piece of work. She will be all eyes, smiles and tongue. She will be whatever you want her to be but before you know it you’ll
be sitting at home on a Saturday night just the two of you watching the fecking Notebook. You will be wearing sweater vests and matching pyjamas. You won’t have a say in a thing and if you try and leave she’ll threaten suicide. Stay away, stay well away.

·         The Stage Nine Clinger

She will sink her jagged, bear claws so deep into your ass that you will be numb with shock that you let this happen. You will get so deep so fast you will think that it’s a dream come true that you have found someone so perfect. Like the Latcher you will not see it coming. You will not be able to wipe your ass without her knowing what you are doing. She will want to know where you are, who you are with and why you aren’t with her. You’ll have texts and calls if you are not home when you said you’d be.

Basically your balls will be in a VICE and it’s either run and lose your balls or keep your balls and lose everything else.